Considering Children During Divorce

by | Apr 3, 2012 | Lawyer


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Statistics overwhelmingly show that children need both parents, and that being emotionally attached to both parents helps them cope better and thrive in their activities. When going through a divorce, especially if there is a lot of hostility involved, it is important to be discreet regarding your feelings towards your estranged spouse.

If your spouse has done something wrong or unhelpful, do not tell your children; keep it between you and you divorce lawyer in Austin. Involving children in the divorce process itself is not recommended, and you should not speak badly about the other parent. Often, doing so can backfire and cause the child to blame you (perhaps justifiably) for being alienated from the other parent, which will lead to resentment and other behavior problems.

Of course, if physical or sexual child abuse is the major reason for the divorce, then this is an exception because the child cannot help but be involved, not only in divorce but possibly in criminal charges. In that kind of circumstance, your divorce lawyer in Austin can help mitigate the depth of involvement your children have in the divorce, as well as provide resources to help them cope with the difficulties of familial separation. For the most part, however, all the steps of litigation, such as financial divisions or issues with child custody, should only be discussed with your divorce lawyer in Austin.

Some parents may find in their children a comfort and outlet for emotional tension. Using your child as your therapist a replacement for your spouse is not fair to your child. Even if you are upset, it is not a good idea to communicate all your feelings of sadness and disappointment to your children. Your kids are not emotionally equipped to handle your trauma; they need you to be stable so they can depend on you and feel secure – not the other way around. If you need resources for counseling, your divorce lawyer in Austin can provide you with them.